Last Updated:

January 15th, 2025

Grief and Addiction | Symptoms and Treatment Options

Grief has a way of consuming everything – your thoughts, your energy and even your sense of self. In the search for relief from the weight of such intense sadness, some people turn to substances or addictive behaviours as a temporary escape. While this might dull the pain for a fleeting moment, addiction only adds another layer of heartache, pulling you further from healing. The good news is that you don’t have to face this struggle alone. With the right support from Recovery Lighthouse, you can break the connection between grief and addiction, find new ways to cope with the emotional pain and honour your loss more healthily.

Man in depression sitting on floor

What is grief?

Grief is the heartbreak that follows loss, a powerful mix of emotions that is a natural but often brutal part of the human experience. We often think of grief as being only a response to death, but it can also arise from the end of a relationship, losing a job or even a major life transition like retiring.

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and the symptoms of grief are different for different people. It may cause anger, sadness, confusion and other mental health issues, which can crash over you like a tidal wave or needle at you incessantly under the surface.

While grief can be disorientating, it is important to understand that it is a reflection of the love and meaning that person or thing brought to your life. If processed in a healthy way, grief can actually be a transformative experience and one that is uniquely beautiful.

What causes grief?

The causes of grief lie deep within our biology, psychology and personal experiences. At its core, grief is the brain’s way of processing a profound change. When we lose someone or something deeply meaningful, our brains struggle to reconcile the absence and activate the same responses to physical pain. This is why grief really does “hurt”.
On a psychological level, losing someone or something significant disrupts our sense of stability and identity. Our thought patterns can become consumed by memories, regrets or “what-ifs,” making it hard to focus on anything else. Depending on the relationship and circumstances, this can lead to a range of emotional responses like sadness, anger, guilt or even relief.
Grief is also affected by hormones like cortisol, the stress hormone, which floods the body during periods of intense loss. This biochemical response can explain why grief often feels exhausting and why physical symptoms of grief such as fatigue, trouble concentrating and body aches mirror those of stress.

What are the 7 stages of grief?

While there is no “normal” for mourning, the seven stages of grief are a framework that helps us understand the emotional journey many people experience after a loss. While everyone grieves differently and not everyone will go through all these stages in a neat order, they can provide insight into the complex emotions involved:

1. Shock
The initial reaction to loss often feels like emotional paralysis. You might feel numb or detached as you struggle to process what has happened. This is your mind’s way of cushioning the blow and protecting you from immediate overwhelm.
2. Denial
In this stage, you may find yourself thinking, This can’t be happening. Denial acts as a temporary escape, allowing you to adjust to the reality of your loss slowly.
3. Anger
As denial fades, anger can take its place, and you might feel frustrated with yourself, others or even the person or thing you lost. It is a way of grappling with the sense of unfairness that often accompanies grief.
4. Bargaining
Bargaining is about “what ifs” and “if only.” You might replay events in your mind, imagining scenarios where the loss could have been prevented. This stage is often driven by guilt and a longing to regain control.
5. Depression
This stage brings a heavy weight of sadness. You might feel deeply lonely, hopeless or completely unmotivated as the full impact of the loss settles in. While this is one of the hardest stages, it is an essential part of grieving as it allows you to process the depth of your emotions.
6. Testing
In this stage, you begin to explore ways to move forward. It is a time of trial and error as you adjust to life after the loss, testing out new routines, perspectives or coping strategies.
7. Acceptance
Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting or “getting over” the loss. Instead, it is about making peace with what happened, finding ways to honour the past and embracing a new normal with hope for the future.

How do grief and addiction link?

Grief and addiction are often experienced as a dual diagnosis, forming a destructive partnership that intensifies both struggles. In the early stages of grief, alcohol, drugs, or even compulsive behaviour like sex or gambling can feel like a way to take the edge off the overwhelming sorrow. However, this numbing effect prevents the natural processing of emotions, leaving grief unresolved.
Over time, reliance on some external form of solace can then grow into a full-blown addiction, which complicates grief, making it harder to confront and work through feelings of loss. Instead of healing, the grief often festers beneath the surface, intensifying as addiction takes hold. This creates a dangerous loop where grief fuels addiction, and addiction deepens grief, keeping you stuck in a cycle of emotional pain and dependence.

grief and addiction sad woman

Treatment options for grief and addiction

When grief and addiction co-exist, rehab treatment must address the deep emotional pain for effective recovery from addiction. Recovery Lighthouse’s treatment will put your grief under the microscope so you can work through the pain and prevent it from causing a relapse.
If you need more specialised care, our sister centre, UKAT London Clinic, provides individual programmes for both addiction and grief which can be combined into a comprehensive dual-diagnosis treatment plan.
Here are some of the most effective therapies which you will find at both centres:

Group therapy
Grief and addiction can isolate you, but in group therapy, you will share your experiences with others who understand firsthand what you are going through. This can offer comfort and camaraderie and allow you to heal as a community.
Individual therapy
Your grief is deeply personal, and so is your healing. Individual therapy gives you space to explore your loss and addiction in a way that makes sense for you. This may mean tears, emotional breakthroughs or learning to let go, but it will help you cope with grief without needing drugs or alcohol.
Behavioural therapies (CBT/DBT)
Grief and addiction often trick your brain into looping through the same destructive patterns. Behavioural therapies help you rewrite the narrative, teaching you how to pause, process and respond in ways that heal you rather than hurt you.
Family therapy
Addiction and grief often fracture families, but family therapy helps to repair those cracks. With open, honest conversations and professional guidance, you and your loved ones can work through the pain together, rebuilding trust and support.
Continued support after rehab
Recovery is a journey, not a destination. That is why we’re here for you long after rehab with weekly group therapy, personalised relapse prevention plans and a supportive Alumni Network ready to lift you up when needed.

Get help for addiction and grief today

Carrying the weight of grief and addiction can feel unbearable, but you don’t have to carry it alone. At Recovery Lighthouse, we can help lighten that load. With compassionate care and expert guidance, we will help you break free from addiction while honouring your grief in a healthy, meaningful way. Contact us today and rediscover hope and happiness.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 3 C’s of dealing with grief?
The 3 C’s of dealing with grief are coping, communication and connection. Coping involves finding healthy ways to manage your emotions, like journaling or seeking therapy. Communication means opening up about your feelings, whether to friends, family or a counsellor. Connection reminds you to lean on your support network, staying close to those who can provide comfort and understanding.
Can I get treated for addiction whilst going through grief?
Yes, absolutely. Addiction treatment often includes support for underlying emotional struggles like grief. Recovery Lighthouse treats addiction while helping you process your loss, while UKAT London Clinic offers targeted treatment for both. Grief and addiction are closely linked, so addressing them together can lead to better long-term recovery.
Which addictions are common with grief?
Grief can lead to a variety of addictions as people seek ways to numb their pain. Alcohol is often used to escape emotions while illegal and prescription drugs like painkillers may also be misused. Behavioural addictions like gambling, sex or shopping can also develop as coping mechanisms during grief.

(Click here to see works cited)

  • Mendoza, Marilyn. “The Role of Grief in Addiction.” Psychology Today, 11 February 2023, https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/understanding-grief/202302/the-role-of-grief-in-addiction. Accessed 10 December 2024.
  • UK Rehab. “Dual Diagnosis | Co-Occurring Disorders.” UK Rehab, https://www.uk-rehab.com/mental-health/dual-diagonosis/. Accessed 10 December 2024.
  • UK Rehab. “Grief and Addiction | Mental Health and Addiction.” UK Rehab, https://www.uk-rehab.com/mental-health/grief-and-addiction/. Accessed 10 December 2024.
  • Chambers, R Andrew, and Sue C Wallingford. “On Mourning and Recovery: Integrating Stages of Grief and Change Toward a Neuroscience-Based Model of Attachment Adaptation in Addiction Treatment.” Psychodynamic psychiatry vol. 45,4 (2017): 451-473. doi:10.1521/pdps.2017.45.4.451. Accessed 10 December 2024.
  • Caparrós, Beatriz, and Laura Masferrer. “Coping Strategies and Complicated Grief in a Substance Use Disorder Sample.” Frontiers in psychology vol. 11 624065. 15 Jan. 2021, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.624065. Accessed 10 December 2024.
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