How to Help an Alcoholic Friend

Being friends with someone who is struggling with alcohol addiction can be a heartbreaking experience. As addiction begins to take over their life, they may feel frustrated, helpless and even guilty. But here’s the good news: as their friend, you are uniquely positioned to make a real difference. You know your friend better than most people, and your support could be the turning point they need.

In this guide, we will walk you through the signs of alcohol addiction, the best way to approach the conversation and how to help an alcoholic friend during recovery. It is not an easy road, but with your friendship and encouragement, they don’t have to walk it alone.

Is your friend addicted to alcohol?

It’s not always easy to know if your friend is struggling with alcohol addiction, as the symptoms can look different for different people. Some people may drink all day, while others may only binge in the evening alone. Unless you are around them all the time, it can be hard to see the full picture of their drinking and the impact it is having on their life.

But there are certain signs, specific to friendships, that might give you a clearer sense of what’s going on. Here are some red flags to look out for:

• Your friend no longer wants to do the things you used to enjoy together unless there’s alcohol involved.
• They are drinking much faster and far more than everyone else in the group.
• They drink to intoxication when you and others are just having one or two.
• Weeks go by without hearing from them, or they avoid your messages and calls.
• You have noticed changes in their mental health, like signs of anxiety or depression that weren’t there before.
• They have been caught in lies or tried to downplay how much they are drinking.
• Every time you see them, they are either drunk or recovering from a hangover.
• They have distanced themselves from you and started spending more on their own or with others who drink heavily.

It is important to know that any one of these could be related to something other than alcohol addiction. However, if you have noticed several of these signs together, you may need to speak to your friend about your concerns.

How to approach the conversation

Talking to a friend about their drinking is not always easy, particularly if you like the occasional drink, too. They may be in denial or accuse you of having a problem, too. Here are some ways to make this conversation as easy as possible:

Discuss the issue with your other friends

Before diving into the conversation, it can be helpful to chat with mutual friends and ask if they have also noticed any problems with your friend’s drinking. This can give you a better sense of how long the issue has been going on and how serious it might be.

If you are part of a close-knit group, consider teaming up to talk to your friend together. This approach can relieve you of some of the burden and show your alcoholic friend that everyone in the group is worried about them.

Set the right tone

Many people who struggle with alcohol addiction are in denial, so it is important to approach the conversation with care. If your friend feels blindsided or attacked, they are likely to shut down or get defensive. Worse, they may distance themselves from you and lean more into relationships with friends who drink heavily.

Instead, stay calm and focus on your concerns. If they deny having a problem, try gently reminding them of specific incidents. These may be nights where things got out of control or situations where their drinking led to unpleasant fights or outcomes. It is important to give them time to recognise the problem themselves, but your gentle nudges can help them see the bigger picture.

Decide whether to involve their family

This can be a tricky decision, depending on your relationship with your friend’s family. On one hand, having their loved ones express concern might be the wake-up call your friend needs. On the other hand, they may feel like you have betrayed them by going to their family first. However, if you know their family well and they have shared the same concerns with you, hearing from multiple people can help your friend realise they need help.

Show your friend their treatment options

When you speak to your friend, it is important to be prepared with information about treatment options. This way, if they express openness to getting help, you can immediately guide them toward resources that will be beneficial. Researching rehab centres like Recovery Lighthouse and having brochures, websites or contact details on hand can make the decision feel less overwhelming for your friend.

You can also offer to help them take the first step by making the initial phone call or attending the first appointment with them. This will show them they don’t have to go through this alone and that you will be there for them in any way you can.

How to avoid enabling an alcoholic friend

Trying to help an alcoholic friend before they begin treatment can be tough, and it’s easy to make their situation worse unintentionally. Here are some common mistakes that may seem supportive but can actually enable their alcohol addiction:

Joining them for drinks

Many people actually try to help an alcoholic friend by drinking with them so they can try to control the extent of their alcohol abuse. This is rarely successful, and you may even find yourself drinking more than you usually would. The best way to support your friend is by staying away from alcohol when you are with them and finding other fun things to do together that don’t involve alcohol.

Giving financial help or other assistance

If your friend is in a bind – whether they need money for rent or a place to stay – it is only natural to want to step in and help. But giving them money can enable them to buy alcohol they couldn’t otherwise afford, while offering your home as a safety net can prevent them from seeing the true extent of the issue.

Covering for them

It is natural to want to protect your friend when they have drinking problems. Maybe you have made excuses for them to their family or employer, thinking that you are saving them from embarrassment or preventing an even worse situation. But this only hides the consequences of their drinking and allows them to avoid facing the reality of the situation.

How to help an alcoholic friend during rehab

Getting your friend to accept professional help is a huge step but it is only the beginning. Once they have agreed to go into treatment, your role as a supportive friend becomes even more important.

First of all, try to help out with any practical matters that may worry them during rehab.  This may include things like taking care of pets or children, checking on their home or helping them keep up with any bills or responsibilities. Removing these sources of stress allows them to focus fully on their recovery without worrying about what’s happening outside of treatment.

While they’re in rehab, keep in touch if it’s allowed. Send supportive messages, letters or even small gifts that remind them of your friendship and encourage them to stay strong. You may also be able to visit them during the allotted visit times. Rehab can feel isolating so seeing a familiar face and hearing words of encouragement can make a big difference.

Finally, be ready for what comes after rehab. Long-term recovery is challenging and your friend will need continued support. Be there to help them transition back into everyday life, and remind them that they’re not alone on this journey.

Help your friend to a brighter, sober future

If your friend is in need of help for alcohol addiction, contact Recovery Lighthouse today. Whether they are just beginning to consider treatment or are ready to make the commitment, our alcohol addiction treatment programmes address all aspects of recovery. With the right support, your friend can leave behind the challenges of alcoholism and step into a life filled with hope and purpose.