Last Updated:
November 6th, 2024
Addiction recovery is a multi-layered process. Attending addiction rehab is not only about recovery from drugs or recovery from alcohol. An important part of long-term recovery plans is paying attention not only to the relationships we may have with substances but also our relationship with ourselves. Addictions develop over time, often due to complex interactions between our circumstances, difficult experiences and struggles with mental health.
Addiction has a complicated relationship with emotions. Drug and alcohol addiction can be catalysed by difficult feelings such as denial and depression. However, addiction can also deepen these emotions. A key facet of addiction recovery is focusing on rebuilding the relationship you have with yourself. This requires learning to accept from your past and present to move forward into the future.
What is self-acceptance?
Self-acceptance is defined as ‘an individual’s acceptance of all of his/her attributes, positive or negative.’ Self-acceptance has been linked with a strengthened ability to evaluate our features, or in other words, to self-reflect. Self-reflection is key in the context of drug addiction, as it can be the path that leads us to recognise our situation. This recognition can be the driver of change. But before change can be made, we need to be able to reflect so we can, in turn, begin to accept.
Greater self-acceptance has been linked to a range of positive mental health traits, including:
- higher self-esteem
- stronger relationships
- stronger interpersonal skills
- better emotional and stress regulation
- positive body image
This indicates that greater self-acceptance can be linked with a lower tendency towards anxiety and depression. It can also be linked to improved distress tolerance and decreased likelihood of engaging in maladaptive behaviours, such as self-harm, substance abuse, or harmful, restrictive dieting.
In short, self-acceptance provides a ‘psychological advantage’ and gives us a kinder, more holistic appreciation of ourselves. This can be a key foundation for healing patterns of addictive thoughts and behaviours and, therefore, lead to the development of healthier practices.
Addiction and complex emotions
During withdrawal stages, individuals dealing with drug addictions experience what is known as the ‘negative affect’ stage. During this stage, you may feel particularly low, anxious, or depressed. This can effectively act to create a void of feeling that some people describe as being numb.
On the other hand, the negative effect is when emotions feel very heightened. Any addiction – whether behavioural or linked to a specific substance, such as drug addiction – is a very emotionally loaded experience. Addictions are chronic, often obsessive, compulsive disorders. This means that a lot of our mental space and energy can be taken up with our thoughts and feelings about our addictive subject. This can leave us with a range of difficult emotions that can be very tricky to reckon with. These emotions can include:
- shame
- guilt
- embarrassment
- self-loathing
- paranoia
These feelings can come from many different places. For some people, they can originate from societal stigmas around addiction. There are still some discourses that suggest addiction is some personal or moral failing. Being exposed to these stigmas can be very damaging. Within time, it is possible for individuals dealing with addiction to internalise these beliefs and begin to feel that their addiction means they are a failure, therefore leading to a lot of self-deprecating emotions and negative self-talk.
This can perpetuate difficult feelings and lead to a cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies. When you feel very low, you are more likely to reach for your addictive substance than if you feel empowered in your ability to get better. This means that reframing your relationship with yourself can have a very powerful effect on your ability to stick with the recovery process. Therefore, self-acceptance can be seen as a pivotal component of relapse prevention.
Embracing personal growth
It is easy to say that self-acceptance can help us reconfigure our relationships with ourselves. But when, for some people, stigma, internalised beliefs and past experiences culminate into stubborn thoughts and feelings about ourselves, it can be hard to make them shift. So how can we begin to tangibly challenge harmful beliefs about ourselves, to slowly but surely move towards a place of self-acceptance?
One of the best ways to do this is by embracing personal growth – by seeing the need for recovery not as a sign of personal deficit but as a willingness to change, progress, and grow.
Other ways you can embrace personal growth include:
- writing a letter to explain your reasons for recovery (as part of your relapse prevention plan)
- keep a diary to detail your progress
- set small goals
- take time to reflect on your positive actions and thoughts
- make a list of what you have achieved during recovery
- attend support groups
- acknowledge that difficult does not mean impossible
Seeking support
When you are in the depths of addiction, learning how to respect and accept yourself can feel like an impossible concept. However, with appropriate formal support systems, your relationship with yourself will shift more each day. As you attend addiction rehab and move through therapies, support groups and other interventions, you will find even the most stubborn of negative thought patterns will begin to shift. Addiction recovery is a difficult path – but you do not need to walk it alone.